How to Train your Alien Dragon Car Robot
by CrossoverAUman
Summary: Modern Day HttyD AU A boy and his car- or rather three boys, three cars, and that makes for 9 times the trouble. Throw in the fact that Starscream can't help falling in love with Alexis and you get one crazy aft cluster frag. More pairings then you can shake a stick at! Toothcup, MilesXBarricade, SamXBee, and MikeylaXAstrid
1. Chapter 1

How to train your Alien Dragon/Car Robot  
OR:  
A portrait of Hiccup as a Transformer's pet human.

Warnings: AU Toothcup ahead, and why? Because I fucking love Toothcup. Transformers, based in the movies, only with more slashy awesomeness.  
Pairings: Toothcup. WillXSarahXIronhideXChromia (And what the frag would you even call that?!), BeeXSam, MilesXBarricade and AlexisXStarscream, MegatronXNightbird, RachetXWheeljack, OptimusXElita, SideswipeXBluestreakXSunstre aker. And MAYBE AstridXMikeyla. MAYBE…  
Past Pairings: HiccupXAstrid, SamXMikeyla, Hot RodXBee, References JazzXProwl

* * *

Harold "Hiccup" Haddock was of old Norse blood, not that you could tell that by looking at him. The 17 year old teen was scrawny as could be, with itty bitty toothpicks for limbs- or so everybody said. Nobody realized that he was actually fairly strong, having worked at his uncle Gobber's metal shop for 8 years. As it was, he could carry around metal sheets all day, and could pound a bent piece of metal flat faster than anyone else in the shop.

Not, of course, that anyone realized that. His friend, Arnold "Fishlegs" Lancaster knew, of course, but after that? Nobody stopped to think about it, because nobody knew the facts. He never fought back if he was attacked at school by bullies, and so it was assumed that he was a wimp. And a nerd. But mostly a wimp.

Of course, nobody knew the ridiculously large secret was keeping (other than his bisexuality. Fishlegs knew about that bit.). Oh yes, if this secret was revealed, he could be in a LOT of trouble…  
His car was a robotic dragon from outer space that he called Toothless.

They'd met after 'Toothless' crash landed as a meteor in the field outside Hiccup's house, and when the then 14 year old had gone to investigate, he'd found the robotic beast damaged and leaking something blue and warm. Knowing his way around metals, the boy had done his best to patch up the wounds and keep the thing alive… only to end up with a giant robot dragon that insisted on following him around.

Perhaps giant was a stretch. He was only 12 feet when walking on all fours, 15 if he stood on two legs. He turned into a 79' Mustang, old and beat up (just like Hiccup's dad, actually!), and Hiccup kept him washed and waxed 'til he shown, which pleased the robotic dragon to no end. In the summer time Hiccup would take his friend out to the fields where he'd crashed and wash him obsessively well, shirt off as he stretched over the hood and labored intensively to get every inch of 'car' clean.

And not that he'd tell anyone, but the way Toothless's engine vibrated as it seemed to purr in pleasure as he rubbed down the doors got him REALLY excited.

* * *

Optimus Prime resisted the urge to sigh and rub his face with his hand as he read the report on the data-pad sitting on his desk before him, held at an angle with one hand. It was more of the same- Decepticons attacking, NEST fighting back, and the Decepticon being defeated, but at the cost of so many soldiers. His battle mask was up to hide his emotions.

The next report was not so common. It seemed a local human newspaper in a town called 'Berk' was reporting instances of strange lights, sounds, and of flying objects in the night sky. What made it peculiar and memorable was that there was a picture, just one picture, of the object.

And Optimus recognized it. Standing up, he opened a comm to the base.

"_Code Red, I repeat, Code Red. We have Decepticon activity in the United States. All personnel gather in the hanger. This is not a drill, Optimus Prime out!"_

* * *

And it begins…


	2. Chapter 2

Hiccup sighed as he leaned back on the hood of his car, black metal warm in the sunlight. Toothless purred relentlessly under his Master's body, happy for the contact.

The Before Master had never allowed him to simply relax- the Before Master always made him work, or be in that restless but unfeeling state of connection that made him a slave. Then the Before Master fell and Toothless was free and when he finally fell to the planet that the Before Master had fallen to, he felt the Before Master Return and Die and he knew he would never have to listen to the Before Master again.

It was like being accepted by the Allspark. He'd never felt so ALIVE as he did then.

And then his new Master came, but he never forced himself as the Master, he just WAS. Toothless made him the Master and gave up his freedom.  
Only to find himself even more free to live as long as he served this strange organic Master.

Nothing would harm his Master, not the sky nor the sea nor the land nor anything in them, Toothless swore this to himself daily. And so far, nothing had. A few bullies who tried to intimidate and harm the Master ended up getting late night visits from an angry 'demon' (whatever a demon was, Toothless still only understood a few words in human- Hiccup, Toothless, bud and Let's go flying tonight! Were his favorites.)  
And thus, with scanners on their highest setting, he was prepared for the events that occurred next and had shifted to his true form, snarling as he protectively hunched over his Master, wings tight around his tiny organic body underneath him.

"_MIIIINE!" _he bellowed at the big ones. It was one of the few words he could speak. He recognized the first big one- the Before Master had made him fight HIM more times than Toothless cared to count- his tail had the scars to prove it- pit, his entire frame did.

But they had organics, just like he did. Did that mean they didn't have to fight? It wasn't like that was his goal. He just wanted to be left alone with his Master…  
_"My Master! Mine! Before Master Gone! New Master is my Master now! Leave Master with Toothless! Toothless love Master! Mine! Mine!"_

"_He's obviously gone mad," _ one of the big ones with coloring like his said to the others. _"But what can be expected from Megatron's most loyal pet?"  
"No! Hate Before Master! Toothless hate!"  
"Or perhaps not…" _the biggest one mused as Hiccup managed to force his way out from the metal cage of wings. Despite his over protective car's protests, he stood, gazing in shock and awe at the newer, bigger robots that obviously were connected to his guardian. The biggest knelt down, signaling for all the drawn weapons to be lowered.

"Greetings, youngling. I am Optimus Prime, leader of the Autobots. And I have some questions for you."  
"Harold, but call me Hiccup; and this is Toothless." Hiccup said, gesturing to the large metal dragon curled around him protectively. "And I think that I have as many questions for you as you do for me."


	3. Chapter 3

Toothless was purring as his Master rubbed his fingers along the dragon's spinal ridges, massaging the plating. His Master held a cleaning cloth in his hands, rubbing the dragon down as thoughts whirled around in his head. An alien war… he wouldn't have believed it if he hadn't seen the proof with his own eyes, if he wasn't riding around in one of them…

"I just don't know, bud. This is all a bit crazy to me. We're gonna have to go on a _really _long fly tonight. And you! Since when have you been a killer? I think they're shitting me."

Toothless stopped purring and lowered himself down, acting sad. Using a trick he'd learned from one of the big ones (who was closer to his size and had a human Master too.), he played a piece of human radio to express his feelings. _"My name is Terra. I was sworn to serve a dark Master. And I have… regrets." _Sure, it might have actually been from their television, and he'd had to cut out a word, but it got the point across.

Hiccup sighed and gave his dragon a hug around the neck, petting him. "Listen- you may have done some bad stuff, but you're doing good now. You've kept me safe for three years now, bud, so you let those regrets go. We're gonna help the Autobots, we're gonna help them save the planet. And when we're done with that, you and I are gonna fly off somewhere private and retire. It'll be you and me, on some empty Florida island. Maybe we'll bring Fishlegs, he's always been nice to you hasn't he? Yeah, that'll be nice."

Toothless began to purr again and the cleaning resumed. One of the Autobots, a big, lime green/yellow one with flashing lights and an ambulance look to his vehicle mode came over and crouched down, holding out a finger for Toothless to sniff.

"He's in far better condition than I'd ever seen him when he was Megatron's symbiont. And yet he hasn't had access to proper medical care for years. Have you been caring for him?"  
"As best I can," Hiccup said, smiling as he scrubbed under a piece of armor as well as he possibly could. "He was in pretty bad shape when we first met- hell, he was missing half his tail and it took a _long _time to make it so he could fly again- we finally managed it though, after a year. He was _really_ excited. Picked me up and flew halfway to Minneapolis by the time I convinced him to slow down. Now it's just a matter of trying to keep him clean- though considering how he loves to roll around in fish guts, that's harder to do than you'd think."

The ambulance bot appeared to raise an eyebrow and said "Fish guts?" in a questioning voice.  
"Like you wouldn't believe. Guts, scales, fish in general. He loves 'em. I never knew why. Hey, why _do _you like fish, buddy?"  
_"Fishy nummy, Toothless love!"  
_"I guess that explains it then." Hiccup said with a small grin.  
"But _why_ are they… 'nummy'? We survive on energon, not fish! We don't _eat_ organics!" the ambulance (who Hiccup remembered was called Ratchet) exclaimed in general confusion. "I wish _Hound_ was here." He said, saying the bot's name in Cybertronian, fascinating Hiccup with its series of whirs and clicks. "His scanners are more adapted to dealing and interacting with organics than mine are."

There was a peaceful silence as Hiccup continued to rub Toothless's frame down before Ratchet asked "You said you fixed him. Would you care to become my apprentice? It will give us a good excuse to keep the two of you around without your government asking too many questions."

Hiccup considered a moment and looked to Toothless. "What'd you think, Toothless? Should we stay? Gobber'll miss us at the shop, but I'm pretty sure he'll understand, and Dad'll be happy that I'm gonna technically be in the army."  
_"Anywhere you go- I'll follow you down."_

Hiccup laughed and turned to Ratchet. "I guess that decides it. We're in!


	4. Chapter 4

Hiccup and Toothless flew, soaring through the skies around Diego Garcia. In flight, there was freedom. In freedom, there was a goal, an ideal to be achieved, and Hiccup felt, with each beat of his metallic friends' wings, that whatever that ideal was, he'd reached it..

Down on the ground, Optimus and Ratchet watched boy and Cyber Dragon fly free, hearing the whoops of pure joy from them both.  
"I never saw him so alive, old friend, not when he served Megatron."

Ratchet smirked and said "That's because you never saw him coming. He blended right in with the background. Worse than Ravage, because at least that particular little fragger had some gold and silver on her paint."

Optimus chuckled and conceded the point to his friend. "Though I find it strange that he should attach himself to a human."  
"Hiccup found him at his weakest, repaired him, has never raised a hand to hurt him. The boy is the exact opposite of Megatron, Prime. I'm not surprised in the least that 'Toothless' latched on to him as a carrier. I can say I would have, if I'd been Megatron's slave from the day I onlined."  
"Is that why you took him on as an apprentice?"  
"Partially. The boy reminds me of... Well, look at him. Look at the joy he gets from flight. Look at how compassionate he is."

Optimus gave his friend a sympathetic frown and asked rhetorically "He reminds you of Swoop, doesn't he?"  
"Yes... And I may have failed him, but I won't fail this child."  
"We all have regrets, but it may yet be that ours are greater than they should be, my friend."

* * *

"Herr-AGH!" came the scream as Starscream was thrown across a training mat and through a wall. In the training room, his opponent vented heavily, and surveyed her surroundings. Mechs of all sizes lay on the ground, limbs twitching in pain.  
Megatron had chosen his Queen well, when he mated Nightbird. His death was inconsequential. She had plans, oh yes. Soon, her King would return to her...

And then, humans would burn in the fires of their rage...


End file.
